"Shit! There's an About Me section? What is this, Myspace? Well, I'm a year late, but I may as well put something here. This page is basically just about my personal life, so nothing important at all. It's both a list of excuses for me being the person that I am and reasons why my girlfriend makes me wear condoms. Maybe once you're caught up-to-date with the blog, you'll understand why my parents are embarrassed to leave the house with me, or why I can't keep my Followers in the double digits longer than a week. I started this blog shortly after deciding not to attend college, and finding myself below par for your standard fast food employee. It's not that exciting, but I'm no Cameron Crowe. By the time you're done with this, maybe you can hate me more than I hate myself, but that's a lot to ask of a reader."