Imagine Edward Said, George Carlin, and Malcolm X jointly writing a book about universal racism from a cosmopolitan Indian's perspective and compiling "The Fourteen Commandments of Impressing the Whites" delivered by a White God? Impressing the Whites is exactly that kind of book. It had a controversial reception when first published in India, where it was featured on national television and briefly made an online bestseller list. Ferociously satirical and idealistic in turns, "Impressing the Whites" suggests ways in which the world might be made fairer for its increasingly multicolored inhabitants. The book also urges that diverse cultures and peoples retain their authenticity what makes them unique rather than succumbing to the universal tendency towards standardization. This 2016 edition is the first paperback edition of the book to be published in the West, and is mostly faithful to the original. "The reader laughs, squirms, recognizes his/her own hypocrisy and the blatant absurdity of most unquestioned social conventions. Zany exuberance . . . mischievous pleasure."--Frank Feldman "Boldly goes where no Indian has gone before."--The Asian Age, Book Pick of the Fortnight.