My name is Tim Clark, and I'm 46 years old. By today's standard, middle aged I suppose, and being in the middle is something I've grown very used to over all of my years. I was the middle kid in my family, medium-sized, and of average intelligence. By all accounts, by any standard one could measure by, I'm the personification of the "average Joe." I'm an off-the-shelf 40 regular, not bad looking but nothing to write home about, for sure. I can run faster than about half the guys I know and made it through college, as you might guess, somewhere towards the middle of my class. With my mediocrity clearly established, I'll explain to you a little bit about this book. I started out simply by writing my own memoirs just for the fun of it in hopes that my kids may one day enjoy reading them. However, gradually it began to occur to me, that this ordinary average life of mine has been quite extraordinary indeed and rather hilarious at times. Further, that if a guy like me ("the average Joe") has been blessed with such an abundant life, the chances are good that you have too. It bothers me when national and local news lead stories are about how Britney Spears has shaved her head and got a tattoo, or how Jesse James needs a divorce, and it strikes me as rather sad that we aspire to follow this thing we call celebrity with such great effort rather than to simply recognize the many blessings all around us and be not just thankful but overjoyed that our ordinary lives are truly extraordinary and totally worthy of celebration. Remember always that art imitates life, and it was never meant to be the other way around. However today, I fear that it is the other way around, or close to it anyway, and that's a sad fact. Glossy magazines define how we should look and smell, and it's easy to convince yourself that you don't quite measure up to that standard. Every TV network spoon feeds the nightly dribble in stunning high definition to anesthetize your mind and accept whatever it is they're selling. With this book I'd like to remind you that all of that is fiction and that your abundant life is a fact. The short stories in this book are all true and told to the best of my recollection. One hundred percent of the characters were created by God himself and presented here for your enjoyment. My hope is that you enjoy reading them but not because of the things that have happened to me, but that they may help you recall the stories of your own life and that you'll come to the same conclusion that I have. If your looking for something truly extraordinary in your life, keep in mind that the bathroom mirror is only a few steps away and keep in mind also that you'd look silly with a shaved head and a tattoo. Give this book a read and have a few laughs at my expense. I promise I won't get mad.