We know that vampires exist, and that we really, really want one. So how can you score your own gorgeous immortal? And how do you keep a relationship alive when your partner is one of the eternal undead? Claire Hooper has a wealth of experience when it comes to dating guys who can't go out in sunlight, aren't suitable to introduce to your parents, and quite possibly have blood on their hands. In Love Bites she shares her insider's knowledge, taking you from go to whoa to vampire ho by answering questions such as: 'He's been around for hundreds of years. Are there any pick-up lines he hasn't heard?' 'I know vampires are really into virgins. Can I just tell him I am one? Or will he read my mind and find out the truth?' 'Does aloe vera work on fang holes? I need these ones to clear up fast, cos I have to wear an evening dress to a black-tie event next week.' 'If, like you say, he's watching me when I sleep, does that mean he's watching me when I pee?' If it all goes according to plan, you'll also need to know how to wean him onto animal blood, where to put his coffin, and how to resolve that all-important eternal life question - will you, or won't you?