A garbled message was received. A forgotten soldier departed his asteroid hideout. A ship, The Üzchalcyon, was boarded. 450,000+ lost their lives. So began The Üzchalcyon Enmity. Bungling Alien Assassins. Gameshow-based Alien Religion. The Healing of Emotional Trauma Through Baked Goods. Two Stories. One War. Clyde and Lindsey Welles are high school sweethearts. After ten years of bliss, however, Clyde has inexplicably gone cold. Is it their new neighbors, former class rivals/lovers? Is it his job? Or is it all just Lindsey's fault? The new neighbors, Dirk and Lisa Tilden, act weirder now than when they were trying to poach Clyde for themselves ten years ago? As Lindsey struggles with her dormant lover, she has turned to petty theft to fill the void? + Dan "The Host Man" Carpentier is the host and MC of the most popular game show in the American Territories. The Horvitz Hour, which lasts about three hours, presents contestants with random scenarios and situations intermingled with voted-on crowd favorites, such as The Orb of Contusions... One day, Dan vanishes while filming an episode. Seven years later, Dan reappears with a beard, a DVD, and a story. On a Dixieland river boat chugging along the hot Mekong river in Scotch-Vietnam, a young man approaches Dan, having recognized him from several years back. Dan begrudgingly regales him and a growing audience with the story of his whereabouts. Does anybody believe his fantastic tale? Do you?