What if you were afraid to even turn the doorknob to your front door when coming home because of what might wait inside for you? What would it take to make you step out of your shadows, and once and for all break free from the twisted security of familiarity, and take a chance with another that just might change everything? What if you could ask for what you want without being afraid? Could you trust another person that much? Could you trust yourself to ask it and be willing to hear the things you fear? And what if you could truly begin to conquer those deep fears that hide inside you, allowing your heart to open, become vulnerable, and have the chance for real intimacy-the kind that allows another to come closer than you've ever let anyone before? My name is Nicky Young, and this is my family saga and my love story of the battle of family alcoholism, addiction and abuse. This is my journey and coming of age storty of how I learned to let another person come so close that he could see the very depths of me-all of the good and bad that simmered in my soul. You may say, "I don't believe a woman so innocent, could fantasize about sex." I did. You may think, "No one talks like this." Perhaps we should have conversations just like these. When I was seventeen, a man named Ryan Tilton, a twenty-¬ year old professional baseball player, came into my life. I knew it was time. I had to take a risk-that a promise to hold me, accept me for who I was, to never abandon me-were real. These are my experiences, my fantasies, my conversations and the slow, intimate reveal of how I ¬normally learned to open my heart to another. and how I learned to trust myself so that I could really, really, be alive. "I'm very excited about this¬ book in the Broken Bottles Series by Pamela Taeuffer. As a family therapist for more than thirty years, it is my opinion these books are like no other. They offer you an inspiring adventure as well as a thoughtful journey towards trust and intimacy. Truly a stimulating and thought-provoking read." -Louise Monahan, M.S., MFT