Aggressive "no holds barred" entrepreneur RODNEY SWALLOW sees The Seven Ages of Man ruthlessly reduced to four; The Initial Step followed by The Climb, followed by The Platform and "If you don't watch your effing step, an effing Swallow Dive!" Ambitious young actor ROBERT CROZIER ("smutty putty" in RODNEY SWALLOW'S grasping hands) joins equally young artist ALFIE QUIMM and fashionista sensation, the rainbow striped ZIN for their Initial Step followed by their Climb; the three finally reaching their ultimate goal, The Diving Platform. But will they stay there or end up in the humiliating Swallow Dive? A top cast of colourful characters including the Machiavellian CHETWIN GODWIN a producer, director extraordinaire; the awesome Mr SAMUEL KHAYETLISHA, South Africa's answer to America's BIG ARNIE; the vodka marinated restaurateur NORMAN WRAY; dashing dilettante RICHARD "DICKIE" DUNKETT and the formidable MAGDA MAMAZULON, owner of the famous Bond Street gallery bearing the same name, are only a few other ambitious souls who proceed to make, break or even destroy the three determined climbers. Backdrops for the unfolding scenarios feature the cities of London and Bristol, the historic city of Bath (What really does go on behind those elegant Regency facades?), Italy's spectacular Cinque Terre and glitzy Monte Carlo. While Swallow Dive may be seen to be as kaleidoscopic as an ALFIE QUIMM painting; ZIN'S shaven, multi-coloured striped head or CHETWIN GODWIN'S spectacular production of Little Boy Blew, behind all the glamour and glory there runs a darker side, a veritable river of Lethe with Swallow Dive necessitating an extra deep breath before the reader takes the plunge.