Louis XIV
aren't for the faint of heart -- more like for the filthy of heart and dirty of mind, as they tear their way through their major-label debut,
The Best Little Secrets Are Kept
, like a marauding band of oversexed middle-school pirates. Indeed, main vocalist
Jason Hill
swaggers like a fully cocked smash-up between
Bon Scott
,
Mick Jagger
, and
Bluebeard the Pirate
, winking his way through the album like he was strutting down a catwalk.
Brian Karscig
adds suitably unhinged vocal support, taking the lead on a couple of tracks, and
Hill
and
Karscig
, with the help of drummer
Mark Anders Maigaard
, concoct a sound that is both tighter than your jeans after Thanksgiving dinner and looser than
the Big Bopper
's long-necked goose.
is loaded with a raft of inspired songs that burst out of your speakers like they were on fire, mixing the sparkle of the best
glam rock
, the low-down crunch of the best of classic
rock
bands like
the Stones
, and the direct lyrical approach of poets like
David Lee Roth
or the aforementioned
. Three of the album 's songs came out on the band's 2004 EP,
Illegal Tender
, and they are probably the best songs here:
"Finding Out True Love Is Blind"
is a pounding rocker that sends nasty shout-outs to girls of every type and is really just too over the top to be offensive;
"Louis XIV"
is so cocky and self-important you just have to laugh; and best of all is the goofy and slightly unhinged
Adam & the Ants
-styled romp
"Illegal Tender."
It's the kind of song that will have you strutting around the room looking for a mirror to practice your tough guy or gal sneer before breaking out in giggles. The rest of the songs don't show much of a letdown with tunes like the handclap-driven, rifftastic
"Paper Doll"
;
"Hey Teacher,"
which shows off some piercing falsettos; and
"A Letter to Dominique,"
which is a note-perfect
T. Rex
boost complete with operatic backing vocals and funky handclaps, made the band's own with suitably dirty (without the sweet) lyrics. The last song on the record,
"Ball of Twine,"
even displays some sincerity, as
declares his love of classic
with the lyrics "God save
the Kinks
and the music from
the Big Pinks
." Somehow after all the insane swagger that precedes it, the sentiment is downright moving. Some people may find the band's mix of near-obscene lyrics, primal
sound, and overtly sexual imagery somewhat offensive. To that one can only reply, as
Nigel Tufnel
did when
Spinal Tap
's morals (and the cover of Smell the Glove) were impugned: "Well so what? What's wrong with being sexy?" Or as
say in
"Paper Doll,"
"If you want clean fun, go buy a kite." Conversely, if you want some
rock & roll
so tough and dirty that it would make
Brian Johnson
blush,
just might be your band and their album might be your best kept little secret. ~ Tim Sendra