This is my story of surviving childhood sexual abuse that started at an early age. Follow my struggle to make sense of the past programming that was buried for decades. Programming that resulted in a skewed idea of what a healthy relationship even is. How do you come to terms with the contradictions of parents who don't protect you. a beautiful mother who knew all along what was happening, and a father and uncle who were systematically raping me? How to come to terms with not being loved and protected. How to find my shining.